While working on a group advocacy project, which involved creating a Girl Scout patch that raised awareness about domestic violence, I mentioned to my friend that our goal involved raising awareness about this issue with young girls, ranging from elementary school to teenagers. My friend questioned whether I should approach young children with such an emotional and mature topic. I asked her for suggestions of how my group should discuss this topic, but she didn’t have an answer. This is exactly the problem that advocates seeking to end domestic violence face. Domestic violence is problem that affects thousands of families throughout our country and if the topic isn’t discussed, the violence will continue to affect thousands more.
Children that are raised in domestic violence homes are more likely to be more aggressive than other children. Some of those children have increased internalized behavior difficulties like isolation and low self-esteem. Another effect domestic violence has on families is that boys who grow up witnessing the abuse of their mother by their father are more likely to become an abuser as an adult; female children are more at risk of suffering sexual abuse and are more likely to become a victim of domestic violence. If we refuse to talk to our youth about domestic violence and these statistics, then it will be hard to hold them accountable in the future and prevent the endless cycle from reoccurring.
According to the American Bar Association, each year there are 3.3 million children growing up in households with domestic violence. These children live in constant fear of their caretakers, which often creates confusion and instability in the home. Unfortunately, these children witnessing the abuse don’t believe anything is wrong with the violent behavior.
What is the proper age to teach young children that abusing a person is wrong? Is this topic something that is too complex for a child to understand? Or is this something that adults don’t want to discuss because it is too sensitive for themselves as well as the children. How do you tell a child that it is wrong for “daddy” to hit “mommy,” when all family members are still performing the same roles and duties? It may be very confusing for a child to understand and absorb, but providing children with access to resources about domestic violence may help in the long run.
There are a number of ways that we can teach our children that violence is wrong while instilling hope for children in a domestic violence household. As adults, one of our main goals should include helping children to access resources for a safer environment. One way includes educating teachers and guidance counselors about the effects domestic violence has on school age children and making sure that they know how to access resources that may help the children.
By discussing this issue with your local school district, both groups can partner together to develop a plan to educate teachers and counselors. One way can include requiring all teachers to attend a domestic violence-training seminar that could be partnered with a local domestic violence agency or shelter. This training will ensure that teachers and counselors have enough resources to provide children with another outlet to create a safe haven for themselves.
By talking to individual schools about domestic violence, one can begin the discussion about this topic and ensure that resources are available for the students at that particular school. Many domestic violence agencies will provide the schools with pamphlets; leaflets; brochures; and some representatives will visit a school to talk to the children. You can even assemble a folder or a binder with assorted resources from different agencies in your town and give it to the schools. Many schools that don’t have any resources readily available will welcome any advice and assistance on improving domestic violence discussions with school children.
Creating a class assignment about violence could be a subtle way to begin a domestic violence discussion. An excellent way to start the raising awareness in children of all ages is creating a safety plan. This plan will list names and phone numbers of people that the child will trust and call when they are afraid or feel unsafe. Also included are the phone numbers for emergency contacts and a list safety exits from the home.
Educating children in abusive and non-abusive households will create awareness that domestic violence should not be tolerated and that it can be stopped. By educating our youth, we may be able to lessen the rate of domestic violence in families. A majority of domestic violence cases are cyclical and we can break the cycle with education no matter how young they are.
